you're getting worst :(

here i thought you're getting better but hey i guest i'm wrong after all. you're getting worst. i want to be like others but seriously after today, i would never could do that. each and every single i watched you from far or near. i pray from the bottom of my heart that you'll changed. but what i got is disappointment. how my heart goes really down to see you being yourself. it is true when people say that let them love you for who you are not what they want you to be. but if you're a jerk? how would they love you? but i guess my opinion doesn't matter at all. you keep being yourself and people still love you for being that 'one piece' . i have no idea what they have in my mind. or what you yourself have in your mind. i never have and never will suit in that life. and i'm glad i didn't. i'm so glad i didn't. if being like you is all what it takes to be famous, being notice and love by everyone here in 'this part of the world of famous and glamorous' , you know what? thanks but i prefer it best to live in my pathetic, invisible and boring yet simple life coz it didn't worth the risk to lose my pride and those who love me for being simple and nothing of that kind of life you lead to. 


but i'll always stand next to you no matter through hard and good times.
coz i love you and care for you.

guys in my pathetic life.

my dad and my two lovely brother. and my friends. the one? none.

my girl friends are all not available. if they are, tons of guys will be lining up to fill the empty seat. everyone normal would wanted to have someone special. including me. but single doesn’t keep you away from track. i have my father to go shopping or hang out with, talking about anything and he’ll be listening. willing or forced to? i’m not sure about that. i can hold his hand and it feel so save to walk with him. washing car together, watching television our favorite channel axn or even interrupt him while his reading newspaper outside. sorry ayah. i just love to do so. ;P

i also have two brothers the one that live with me here back at home and the other one who live in jb. before, my first brother used to bring me out to watch movies or grab some meals. he’ll be one of the first person to watch newly movies. he’ll make a good movie reviewer that’s for sure. now? he’s so busy working till late at night and going out with his friends or car team here and there. no time for me along? Isk3. as for my second brother, he rarely come back. fyi. both of my brother are already married. with their work. how I wish they are married coz I want niece and nephew so much. he come back for important event or if he got work to do somewhere in kl. he always treat me with ice cream or snacks that I adore so much but somehow being forbid in my house. thanks abang dieq. my mom really hate junk food. She even called it as ‘ta*k ayam’ to show her hatred. but I used to eat it even in front of her and she’ll give me a lecture about health and the important of nutritious.

back to the story. what I adore about this two guys anyway? two words. their car. I really loved their car. from the model, the way they modified their car. it’s amazing. my first brother modified the front light, reverse alarm and other stuff that I can’t name it in the exact name. well I adore it but never actually know how to call it. my second brother like the evo sound a lot. he even make an open rooftop for his car. A small open rooftop for sure. I’m bad am i? so make this clear brothers. modify my car okay? I want it to be way awesome okay. for the bill? it’s yours. thank you.

I love my dad and brothers much that I don’t really need the fourth guy for now.

And I don’t care if they love me back or not.

Coz they are everything I ever have.

And I don’t want to lose them.

Love forever okay!

L.O.V.E. 

bf ohh bf !

boyfriend. is it really necessary for someone to have a special boyfriend or girlfriend by their side? recently, so many people keep asking me about this thing. question like do you have anyone special yet? why don’t you find one? urghhh. it’s tiring okay. i repeat SO BORED AND LAME. that would make things clear isn’t? i hope so. other girl might have this fascinating dream about their date and charming boyfriend. so what? do i care? fyi, i don’t. it’s not like i have this grudge towards guys or something, i just love the way i am right now. single. the word that might scared for some people out there. and the fact that i don’t find anyone that can handle me as the invisible girl good enough. ;P

being single is good you know. for the one who have the courage of not having someone to be called special one, going out for dates and celebrating important event with someone special. being single just keep you away from the trouble of thinking about him or her all the time. scared that they might have someone else other than you. dream about them. or worst, texting and calling 24 hours. sound like a bodyguard. but it is the truth. i don’t want to keep worrying about this thing now. i’ll have wrinkles sooner that I suppose too.

i didn’t say that having someone special is a big trouble. it worth all the pain to have someone to share your problem with, to spend time together, to dream about at night, and to smile when talking about them. i’ve seen that a lot. it’s pretty scary you know. but i enjoy watching though.

as for me i’ll stay the way i am, at least for now. watching other got into a cat fight with their love, facing betrayal, cried their heart out make me realize that i’m not ready for it. eventhough i’m tired with the questionnaire but i’ll keep answering with the same thing again and again. because you know what? i’m not that strong to have my heart being tear apart. i just not strong enough to pick up my scattered heart and put it back in it’s place. and most important of all, i’m not worthy for anyone in this planet okay. what i got is enough for me. my friends is everything i needed for now.

my campus life ;P

ari ni nurul horvejkul xbtul lg. sbab apa sy bwat bnda yg xspatut nya d'lkukan ptg td. tgh mnatap fb nihh trgat plak kt mnusia seorang ni. dh slpas m'stalker fb dan blog nya as usuall la kn. tidak d'lupa kn comment yg mngarut2. maka sy pn nk kata cmni "awak awak, nk ikut awk jgak aci x?" hahaha. kesengalan melanda ye. mehh tgok mnusia2 yg sudi mnemani hari2 borink sy sbgai the invisible girl of the world. muahaha.

hah. knal x cpa manusia d'atas ni. nma glamour Reen R. nma pjg skit Reen Rahman. nk lg pjg? Hasreenajwa. ntah btul ke tidak ejaan nya tuh. klu slah ampun ye. mnusia ni la yg d'cri klu tringin nk g mkn mcd tp xda org nk tman. nk kluar bwat jaat dia ni jgak la jd mgsa nk tman. maap la ye mngajar bnda bkn2. nk blik dri campus sorg2, nk lpak u-cafe la, hameed dgn roti bom nya yg mmg kebomm dy ni la jgak la yg d'seret. lpak dpn swimming pool tnp trjun k'dlm nya smpai nyamuk2 naik jeles tgok ktrg dating. klu tgh kusut kpla sbab lma xcuci pn cri dy jgak sruh dgr bebelan2 yg ntah ppa tu kn. maap lah ye cik reen. slgi awk dduk perdana slgi tu la nk m'nyemak dlm hidup awk. 

mak cik ni cpa plak? nih la top model thun lpas Reen H. thun ni? xthu lg ehh. hahaha. nma pjg skit Hazrina Hamidi. ada org tny npa x pggil HH? tny dy ehh. no 017-544 tkan2 xdpat. please try later okay. mgsa yg sllu d'cubit pipi nya yg tembam itu. kihkihkih. slah dy ehh. org ckap bwat donno je. pk apa pn xthu. d'awang2 an je m'mjg. jd maap la ye whai pipi. hohoho. m.cik ni la sllu jd mgsa pau Cadbury kt u-cafe tuhh. hobby ttap dy ni ska ambk gmbr. dan scra tidak lgsg nurul tlah d'iktiraf mnjdi photographer xb'tauliah skligus tumpang menyemak skli maka thsil la gmbr sprti d'ats ini. ske mnyemak dlm hidup m.cik ni. motip? ske tgok dy marah. wah3. jgn marah2 ea. nnt pipi kena cbit? nk? nak kn? hahahaha.

the nad zachary. muachh gitu. ni classmate nurul. mgsa2 sy jgak ni. sory la ye sbab myemak dlm hidup u. msih pjg lg waktu nya. smpai 2013. xlma tuhh pjam celik pjam celik hbis sudaa. b'kongsi stu minat yg sma iaitu KOREA. love KOREA. thanks ye nad bg pinjam cd he's beautiful. tgok b'ulang2 kli smpai nk muntah cd tu tgok mka nurul bru bg blik. jaat kn? muahahaha.

cpa mnusia comel lote sblah nurul ni? nma nya Reen jgak. tp Reen M. hahaha. nma penuh Syakirin Mukhtar. cik kak sorg ni mgsa sy jgak ehh. rmai noo mgsa ye. dgn kak ini la sy bw lari bb dy jauh2. maen fb dlm klas, lecturer hall, library oohh baik ekk nurul g library. smpai ke toi**t tu pn bw bb dy taw. dy ni b'baek atiey tlg anta nurul blik perdana sbab cian tgok nurul bwat mka seposen dpan dy. lg2 la pas blik klas mlm2. kamsammida Reen!! xtblas jsa anda ye. nnt nurul dh kya bg ferrari sbiji okay? hahaha.

motip? hahaha. mnusia pling kiri b'bju kmja mlm2 buta. nma dy acap. ashraf aris yg btul nya. pling thru dgn p.cik sorg ni. sbab dy lyan nurul m'bebel kt u-cafe siap perang psal cik proton inspira lg. timekasih bnyk2 skrg ni tdo pn dh mimpi cik inspira tuhh. xdpat mmg siap la nurul tlan mmat ni. apa yg mmat ni bwat smpai nurul thru? sggup nya dy dgr bebelan nurul, and sggup jgak dy dtg mlm2 buta nih dlm penat lelah nya ke sna ke mari. dh dtg cni jd photographer. bw ktrg ni g mcd plak. hntr blik lg. thanks ea acap. xda gmbar in person la. lma xnmpk mmat ni. apa cite jang? hahaha.

okay la. mlm dh larut. siang dh lma melabuh kn tirai. mta nihh smkin segar menaip aksara2 di hdpn lappy. msa utk tido ye. esk klas pg. pkl9 plak tuh. nk lg mnrik? smpai 1 tghri. 4jam ehh. xmngtuk plak kn. xbaek taw gipang miss. cian kt ktrg nihh xckup tdo. hahaha. poyos.

**gipang aka gila pangkat atau gila kuasa ye

nite babeyh ;P

msuk hospital :(

nma bdak comel ni auni athirah. dilahirkan pd 20 februari 2009. skrg ni dh dua thun. ritu bru je sronok2 celebrate burfday dy. nk d'jdi kn crta dy dmam, skit perut yg memulas2 *pham ye* muntah sgla bgai. smpai la d'tahan dlm ward kt ampang puteri. cian dy ehh. smpai xbley tdo pnya la skit. sbar ehh cyg. kuat taw. mst bgun blik lari2 cm biasa okay.

   

 

letih je mka dy. nma pn xckup tido kn. rehat ckup2 ea. smpai isolated msuk ward asing dr yg lain sbab tkut bjangkit. be strong okay. auni kuat. msti bley pny. makan ubat. dgr doktor ckap ehh. nnt bley main lari2 lg. pkai topeng. mkan kek bnyk2. kuar cpat ea.

 m.su cyg dy taw. cpat kluar ehh. kita maen sma2 lg. cian abg tuhh rindu nk maen dgn auni.

UK's baby

3m.muaz.mysara.marissa.


haaa. npa dyrg ada entry sndri. sbab rindu sgt2 kt dyrg. blik la malaysia. blik thu? ohh lpa. kna speaking ehh. sbab dyrg xpham bhsa malaysia. " please come back to me will you? don't leave me. i can't live without you" chewahh. over la plak. i can't live without you konon. mlm2 msuk air plak dy ye. jom. zassss je lahh.

mnusia chomel lote kt ats ni d'beri nma muaz eiman. skli lg. gmbr lama okay. mata bulat ni dh jd keturunan la plak nmpk nya. tp time kecik je la ye. dh bsar suma mta cm bsa la kn. dy nihh dh kurang b'kemahiran bhsa mlyu yg t'amat parah. ada ke nurul nk suap nasi ayam dy bley kata "no! i want chicken rice!" haaa. cmn tuhh? kn ke pening. ada plak bza nasi ayam dgn chicken rice ea. tpksa la g dapur ambk ayam nasi suma smta2 nk bza kn nasi aym dgn chicken rice tuhh. bley ke?? mst la x. lg mau pk. aishhh.

ni adik dy yg pertama cik damia mysara. chomel kn. aishh. gram btul la. dy ni m'martabatkn bhsa mlyu. pggil abah taw bkn daddy. haaaa. sara ni mmg ska apa shja yg brda d'tgn abg dy. dh ada pn dy ambk jgak. motip? tny dy la ehh. cpa xthu ketuk je kpla dy. waktu kecik2 cmni la kn. chomel, kiut miut sgla bgai. dh bsar.......? maintain chomel la. dyrg ska b'rebut s'sma sndri. sblum lahir M yg ke 3. slpas? xthu. sbab dyrg bkn dduk malaysia kn. mehh tgok.

M yg ke 3. marissa. tgok mata bulat jgak laaaa. hehehe. anak solid liverpool, UK

haaaaa. dua kakak and abang dh ada adik. xbley rebut2 cm dlu taw. nnt adeq ikut babab dy. hehehe.

cyg sara ye? cpa yg xcyg adeq kn. sjak kecik lg dh caring. dh bsar? ohhh, xdpat nk d'byg kn. mngis den. npa xlhir awl2? ble jd bf k.nurul. ni nk mrah nihh. 

bak kata muaz 'peace. no war'

maka perjanjian damai termetrai.

no gaduh2 okay. angkat bendera putih sudaaa. dh ke? xthu la ye. mnrut sumber2 t'tentu suda la kot. bley plak cm gitu ye. till then bubye ;P

be happy kiddo ;P

kaum kerabat utara marii.

hehe. huhu. hoho. motip? sja nk penuh kn blog. sbnr nya tgh mncri mood study utk final yg ntah bila bru nk menjengulkan diri nya. bla ea? nnt2 la. dh dtg bg salam ye. psal kaum kerabat sebelah ibu nihh yg b'asl dari utara sinun ya itu d Kedah Darul Aman. haaaa. bkn maen pnuh lg ye? pling ska la rya kt cni. motip? sbab rmai spupu yg sbya and kaum kerabat nya t'lbih bnyk and t'lbih meriah la jwab nya. tp thun 2010 yg llu xdpat nk raya aidilfitri kt sna. jd gmbr rya thun lpas xda thu. hahaha. agak tkilan d'situ ye. jom tgok mka2 org d'sinun nihh.

jeng jeng jeng. haaaa. nihh la mka hero2 yg mai dri kedah. kedah ke? jgn nk kdah sgt. ank2 & cucu org utara. dari kiri yg b'bju putih tuh abg nurul yg kedua, p.yang, abang yang. sayang xda? hahaha. npa dyrg ni d'pggil yang? tidak diketahui. sjak pndai b'ckap & mndengar dyrg dh pggil yang. pggil jela ye. jgn mlwan ckp thu! hohoho. yg pkai bju oren striking tuhh abang atau bdak2 kecik pggil dy abg mok. hehehe. next abg man, p.su yg xbongsu, and abi. yg pnat2 mnyangkung kt bwah ni plak si bju pink tuhh izat tojet, ikmal, yg d'pangkuan b'bju mrah tuhh muaz eiman, ameer, nafis yg tiut b;bju oren d'pangku oleh along asrul abg sulung nurul a.k.a cucu first dlm kerabat ktrg nihh.

romantik x? romantik x? romantik bkn?? hehe. ayah and ibu ku yg t'chenta. abai kn botol susu kt tgn ibu tuhh ye. ntah cpa2 pny la tuh. rya ke 5 thun xingat. cmn ble thu hari raya ke brpa? sbab ni ulang tahun perkahwinan iaitu tepat 5syawal. haaa. ingat taw. awak ada? xda kn? 

motip gmbr ni plg jelas dan terang ialah seseorang yang b'bju emas tersenyum lbar di atas ye. bkn pengantin nih. ni la m.tok nurul. m.tok ni rjin bjlan taw. untung la dy jap kt cna kjap kt cni. xajk nurul pn. umphh. mrjuk 5min. ;P m.tok ckap cucu dh rmai. cicit mn? haaa. tu tny along ehh. sbab org lain b'atur blkg dy. yg knan skli plak m.teh. adik ibu yg ke 3. klu xslah la kn. mpunyai 3 org puteri dan stu putera tunggal yg aktif b'lari. bley msuk ptndgn bla dh bsar nnt. konpem mng sbab dy lari lju. dh tuhh lma plak. aishh. pnat den yg tua ni nk kjar. 

ibu, k.chik yg bsar, m.yang merangkap isteri p.yang la kn. yg lgi sorg tuhh izzati. gmbr ni time g ikea sblm rya cina yg llu. bkn sng ni nk dpt gmbr ibu taw. xska kamera sgt. pndai2 je bwat fakta sndri. hehe. 

haah. jgn tny sbab xingat. wakaka. hari persandingan lahh ye klu xslah. btul la tuh. pelamin pn xtrun lg. romantis gitu? nihh slah stu gmbar yg msih slmat dlm laptop tnpa d'ketahui mcm mn bley slmat. p.yang and m.yang ni dh ada 3hero. plg latest nk tmbah lg sorg. hero jgak. adess. xthu la cmn ye. heroin blum muncul lg. next okay? ding2. jom bkenalan dgn hero2 nya.

ni nahish. hero sulung. p/s : ni gmbr time kcik ehh. skrg dh pndai lari sma da. speaking londang lg. siap btul kn org lain lg. bkn maen lg dy ye?

chomel kn??!! bak kta kwan nurul "he looks cute. HOMAIGOD!. haha. (over kejap). :) "

hahaha. ni la nafis. bf nurul ea. dh book awl2. nafis jgn cri awek laen taw. k.nurul dh booking ni. pdhal mama dy dh geleng kpla angkt kki lari dlu. hahaha. mimpi la awk ye. last but not least hero ke 3. ke 4 nnt ye blum lahir lg mn ada gmbr.

naufal atau org pggil tatan. sbab? erkkkk. xthu. mta yg bulat lagi bsinar. gmbr skrg xnk tnjuk sbab ni gmbr favourite. wakaka.

nihh anak2 mama a.k.a m.lang. dri kiri kakak gatal atau nama fb ashiyanie mizakie. cm tu la kott ejaan nya. org pggil kakak atau yanie. ikmal yg sbnar nya tlah dkelirukn kakak2 nya. izzati epie and ilyana atau kak adik. partner abg dieq. yeke??

bju pink ni kak long. suspect kt dya sbab rjin stdy. result gempaq je. straight a's student. ct or iera or muza or k.teh n bla3. spupu nurul yg rapat slain dri kakak. kre nya 3 ank dara pingitan la kn. syazana yg tgh bwat mka ketat tuhh. yg bwah tuhh irfan n keke **ikmal. hehe. nma glamour ehh. keke. tiut ohh. 

gmbr ni *******. heheheh. xda caption ehh. hahaha. 

ada rmai lg sbnar nya tp gmbr dh hilang sbab lappy ni kna virus. crta nya la kn. klu ada pn bnyk sgt gmbr xingt kt mn. hehehe. rjin plak nk cri mlm2 buta ni. 

next!!

;P

adik beradik nurul horvejkul

ni la along. gelaran yg d'beri sbab dy ank sulung, cucu sulung. wakaka. 10 thun lg tua dri nurul. ni gmb dgn intan payung dy Hyundai Incus Elantra Sport. kekasih hati yg setia d'sisi. motip? minat sgt2 krta ni. hahaha. spa xmnat keta sport kn? stu je isu nurul yg msih xselesai dgn mamat sorg nihh iaitu mslah dy yg nk single lg. mn x nya. org laen nk ikt trutan la kn bru bez. tp dy xnk kwin lg. nk bg org lain dlu. saya nk anak buah thu?? dh b'buih mlut ckap dy bwat donno je. umphhh. 

nihh encik sanie muhammad. dy la kta kn. nma sbnar t'blik kn la ye. pggilan d'rumah abg dieq. haaa. pelik bkn. sbab bza ktrg 6thun. lma sgt nk tggu nurul org dh pggil dy adik da. xpe la bg dy rsa mda skli skla ye x? hehehe. skrg ni sdg & msih bsma dgn kekasih hati t'chenta cik ayienn yg juga b'tapa kt jb. 

chomel kn. angguk cpat!! bkn je mka, suara pn chomel jgak. hehe. b'kenalan dri kolej smpai la msg2 dh tua ye. opsss. tarikh pkahwinan? harap thun ni la ye. ada jgak something nk tulis dlm calendar hidup yg kosong lg m'bosankn nihh. pling pntg, cpat skit dpt ank buah ye x? 

haaah. adik beradik yg ada. ni je la. skit je. sma dh bsar pjg, nk kwin dh pn. slmat ari tua ye. kui3. chaos! ;P

mengimbau kenangan

chewahh. 

bkn maen mengimbau kenangan lagi ye? hahaha. 

d'saat nurul sdg sibuk mncri ketenangan nihh ambk plak msa yg ada tgok gmbr2 yg msih t'sadai dlm lappy t'chenta ni. 

npa? 

lorgh, kn dh kta nk lpa kn waktu pahit kna la cri msa2 bhgia dlu kn. tringat kt kaum kerabat yg jauh d'mata. apa crta ekh? urmm. ppa pn nk bg blog nihh pnuh dgn wajah2 mrka yg mnyerikn hidup nurul horvejkul ni. 

dulu, kini & selamanya okayhh.

;P

hate me? hate you? hate everyone?

hate or love? feel confuse sometimes isn't it? we tend to stuck between this two options in our life. i read this from someone's blog that confusing do cross his mind when people hate this person and he's stuck at the middle whether to hate or continue to love. it happens to everyone. so no worries kiddo. it's your choice to love or hating someone. no one can force you to do that. my used to be friends hate me for being just like them. but when they are being themselves, they never think how i felt? how unfair the world is. you got groups while i'm all alone. but that didn't make you way stronger or i'm weaker. that just make me realise that people do expect perfection from others when they are not. when i am not perfect at all. i;m a bad bad girl okay. 

& between love and hatred people tend to choose to hate someone instead of loving. why? because it is easier to hate than to love. it is true. coz love needs all the thing to be spoken out loud and accepting people just the way they are. be there through good and hard times. and there's no turning back. but to hate someone is easy. especially when you have lots of people next to you. no one to be blame okay? like i said before. world is cruel. the truth is always hurting. 

one good thing to be done when you in this kind of dilemma that most people don't do. try to remember the good memories of you with them. just put aside all those hatred and bad moments. and try to rely on those beautiful moments even there's just one of them. slowly, you'll smile. and the hatred will just go away. if you truly did these and if you really want to have peace in your heart and your soul,you'll be able to do it. go gigs! hahaha. coz if you hate a person, 10 people will hate you back. so no one will be your friend. then your world will be bored right? 

so kiddo, STOP HATING PEOPLE AROUND YOU okay? coz you need them to fill up your pathetic life. ;P

my dream. will it come true?

punya la sdap tido ptg tdi tiba2 hp menjerit2 lagu avril whatthehell. trus sgar bji mta ni bca text 'class for tonight is cancel'. ni yg nk mrah ni. blik2 cancel. dh 3 ari xda class thu x? klu thu xda class baek sya blik umah lg bez thu??? aishhh. tp dlm bengang tuhh tringat mimpi indah td. pny la nk sgt ayah bg bw krta g campus kn. smpai t'mimpi2. awk ada? xda kn? dduk diam2. hahaha. mimpi ayah bg bw krta. siap dpt krta impian plak tuhh. ckap psal krta ni, sjak tpndg mitsubishi lancer tuhh tringin sgt. wah klu dpt mmg best la. dpt kembar nya cik inspira tu jd la. mehh tgok kjap.

mitsubishi lancer 

cik proton inspira

hah. kn sma tuhh?? bza nya inspira ni proton jd lmbg nya pn proton la. tp dh nma pn tiru lancer maintain cntik jgak kn? yg penting enjin dy enjin mitsubishi. bru best nk racing. hahahahaha. sronok btul tgok krta2 skrg ni b'saing nk dpt kn pmbeli yg t'bnyk. tp msti la rmai lg bli inspira sbab harga dy jauh lbih murah dri lancer. tgok je kt mn2. inspira lg bnyk dri lancer. klu nk pkai mitsubishi sgt pn tkar je lmbg dy. pastu modify je bhgn dpan krta tu bg sma cm mitsubishi okay. 

 vs 

yg mn btul?? dua2 pn btul okay. paus atiey bdak2? so kesimpulan nya, jdi la pmbli yg bijak. dh ada yg murah xkn nk bli yg mhal ye x? tp klu ada duit lbih bli je la lancer. mitsubishi gitu ye? hahaha. tp bak kta kwan nurul, sokg buatan tempatan. jd g proton ye, bkn mitsubishi. ;P