my world of frustration

ever feel that being another person would be perfect rather than being you yourself? coz i got that feeling so many times that i really wish i would be. i wish i have a genie that will grant all my wish. or at least a handsome and rich boyfriend or so called prince charming whom i loves and loves me even more by myside  to give everything i ever wanted. a car, a mansion, or a penthouse at least. shirts, jeans, trousers and pants, dress, gowns at tangs, make up, and bla bla bla. lists of it that even i can't get enough.

actually, that's not what i have in mind for now. i really envy the guys out there.  you can do what ever you want. like going out anywhere, anytime and with anyone you wanted too. doing anything like smoking, clubbing and stuff. i don't know. almost anything. and no one in the world would say anything bad about you. none. and for the record the guys around me like my own siblings, cousins and even my friends. no offence guys but you can live your life to the fullest and no one will point at you when something bad happen. which sometimes hit me that it is good to be a guy you know. ohh,  i take back my words. it not just good, but awesome. it is even a fact that girls or ladies are the most who make it to the hell. not the guys. so, feeling good aren't you?

as for me myself, i'm stucked at home. with absolutely no connection to the world wide web. no television. no handphone. no access to car. credit card. a bank account to say for the least. i do have a debit card with an amount that i would say enough to buy me a shirt or dress. i'm so bored sitting at home doing nothing. i asked to go out hanging around with my friends. but for that i've to stated why i wanna go out. which i seriously DO NOT have an answer to that. why would i wanna go out? coz i'm bored that i have nothing to do at home. the reply would be that you have so things to do like cleaning, cooking, sweeping the floor and etc. just because i'm a girl. do my brother have to do that at home? NO. but still he can go whenever he want anytime without even have to tell my parents about it. and they wouldn't say a word. ME? yeah, dream of it baby. my mom will be babling until blood pour out from both of my ears i think.

next question will be where am i heading to anyway? i give a name of place. then another question pop out. why do you wanna go there? that doesn't make sense at all. how could i answer that? how am i suppose to say why am i going somewhere when i just wanna go out, just hanging around? no reason. so the answer will be no. then me myself throw out the question. then what do you aspect as an answer? because i want to buy a book? that would be a total LIE. which i prefer not to coz i'll get into accident if i did. and i already have been through once. and i really doesn't want it to happen again. but is it so wrong for me to go out? is not like i didn't ask for their permission. or i wanna go out with guys. or doing some really bad stuff in their way of seeing things.

and i wanted is to go out. is that SO WRONG?