no one there for me ;)

i have a lot of things in my mind right now. hardly sleep lately. especially last night. i wish to see what other's think, to read people's mind but yeah fairytale never comes true no matter how much you want it. i was badly hurt last couple of days. thorny words coming right to my face even from people i don't know which hurt me so much. and i've been thinking a lot lately. and just now i've been given a chance to think about it. a long couple of hours on my own in a quite place. i was asking a question but someone else answered me very 'politely'. i don't even know you. why did i do to deserve such a thorny words from you? we were both strangers. well that somehow turn out to be a good thing for me. maybe others that i know say something differently, totally the opposite one so that i wouldn't hurt hearing it. yeah that's what people do. i feel so down lately. those words were just somehow locked up in my mind taking my emotions into a dark place. i'm lost. i don't know what to think or how to react with some things anymore. i choose to ignore when it basically there in my mind. feel so down yet my tears won't just fall. the worst, i have no one to talk about it. i have my parents and brothers but i don't think it best to share things with them. and as for today, the lying part just keep piling up day by day. i don't know when it's going to stop. but i'm done believing. i'm babbling too much and i really need to put a full stop.